Embracing mistakes: Why we as facilitators and trainers should quit needing to be right?

From a very young age, I was rewarded for being right. The praises would flow in: "Look how smart you are! You can count to five." or "What sound does a dog make? Yes, bravo!" As I progressed through school, this expectation of reward for correctness got worse and worse. My grades became the source of validation, and being labeled as smart became the ultimate goal. 

Sometime around 3rd grade, the fear and anxiety of going to school on Monday and failing a test became so uncontrollable that I would find myself in hysterics every Sunday. It's no wonder that as we reach adulthood, we develop an internal need to always be right.

Then came high school, where my willingness to raise my hand dwindled as I became less sure that my answers we correct. Eventually, I stopped raising my hand altogether. This fear of being wrong carried over into my early professional career, hindering my ability to propose new ideas and confining me to a state of constant fear of making mistakes.

However, over the past decade, I've dedicated myself to unlearning this habit and embracing the beauty of mistakes. As a facilitator, trainer, and coach, I've realized that making mistakes is an integral part of what we do. In fact, it has become an essential aspect of my job.

The fear of asking seemingly simple questions is often due to the fear of being ridiculed. Over the last few years, I have noticed that this apprehension can be the leading cause of confusion and lack of clarity in workshops. As facilitators, part of our role is to create an environment of psychological safety and comfort, encouraging individuals to ask questions. But to do this effectively, we must lead by example.

Courage is key

Courage is key. Our participants need to witness our willingness to venture into uncharted territories where we may not feel entirely comfortable. Whether it's picking up a marker and experimenting with basic visual facilitation during the session or daring to ask seemingly silly questions. By demonstrating our vulnerability and acceptance of mistakes, we empower others to do the same. 

But to fall in love with mistakes, we first need to reframe our perspective. Rather than perceiving mistakes as failures, view them as opportunities for growth. When you make a mistake, create a sense of excitement within yourself and say, "Great, I made a mistake!" You almost need to learn how to celebrate it! In the end, it is a chance to learn something new.

Embrace the discomfort that comes with being wrong, and recognize that perfection is an illusion and that mistakes are stepping stones on the path to success.

Less than a perfect drawing of stepping stones to success

The challenge

Now, I present you with a challenge. Over the next two weeks, starting now, I encourage you to adopt a new mindset. Whenever you make a mistake or find yourself not being right about something, say to yourself, "Great! I made a mistake. What can I learn from this?" If you're going to say it out loud, even better. And let me know how it went! Let's empower those around us to embrace the powerful mindset of continuous learning.

In conclusion, the journey toward becoming a master at anything begins with letting go of the constant need to be correct. Embrace your mistakes and fall in love with the lessons they offer. Creating a culture hat celebrates growth and learning empowers us and those around us to reach new Mountains of Success.

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Be happy, be kind.

D.